you know, sometimes i wonder to myself, why do i even bother? why am i the one who's constantly worrying bout things when it's supposed to be a group effort? and i'm supposed to be the blardy junior. HUH.
so i passed my practical exam. whoopeee. now i just can't wait for it to be over and to be able to part-ay with my bitches in bali!! first trip together and we're spending it somewhere, outside of malaysia.
A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! i just hope that there wouldn't be any tsunamis or (heh-heh) bombings happening there. i mean, i don't mind dying, but i'm there on holiday! it's not supposed to happen and ruin my week of bliss. 2 things i can't wait to do to while i'm in bali: go on a makan spree and.....TO THE BEACH!! provided that it's not windy or raining. if it is, i'll have to stay away from the beach, as far away as possible, just like what my momma told me to do.
i hate it when people assume that they understand me when they really don't. or when they think that i live a worry-free life when the problems that i'm facing now are ten times more worse that theirs, it's just that i don't talk openly about it. i like keeping things to myself and i rarely let anyone in, except for those who are really close to me. even then, there are some things that i don't tell anyone, ANYONE. not even my mom. i mean, who would if you have a mom constantly probing, asking you if there was anything wrong at college or with friends when there really wasn't anything. well, maybe there's something wrong with you, mom. but i'm really private, and i mean, really. no one knows how i really think and feel because i don't show or talk about it. it's like my face shows no emotion, blank. poker face, that's what my mom calls it.
but don't take this the wrong way, it's not that i don't trust my mom or my best friends, it's just that i don't see the need of letting people know about it. well, actually, i don't fully trust anyone. i don't trust my mom that much either. but there are reasons behind that, but i'm not telling =). i don't like mentioning it and i doubt that people would like listening to them. they have enough problems on their hands without having to empathize with mine. i'm very considerate, you see. *puke*
my mind is playing tricks on me again. can't my emotions be stable? i hate having these sudden depressive moods. can't i BE happy?
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