my mom, and i quote her, is going to fuck me. no, seriously, she said that. we were having an argument on how, as a growing adult, i'm gonna need my privacy. therefore, a new laptop is highly appreciated. understandably, she went berserk.
psychotic mom: "WHAT??? YOU WANT A LAPTOP? YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD DESKTOP SITTING RIGHT HERE AND YET, YOU STILL WANT ME TO PAY FOR A LAPTOP WITH CASH FROM MY NEARLY EMPTY BANK ACCOUNT? AND YOU WANT A MACBOOK!! A DELL WOULD SUIT YOU JUST FINE. I'M ALREADY PAYING FOR YOUR MIXER AND FOR THE NEW CAR. DO YOU WANT ME TO GO BROKE?"
me: (equally angry but still capable of being calm and reasonable)"how do you expect me to do my stuff on the desktop when i have to wait for the DOB to finish with his work everyday?? the only time it's available is from midnight onwards, i need my sleep, woman!! and there's no privacy! i can't even watch videos or listen to any music without having you people screaming at me to turn it down cuz you want to watch your stupid tv shows. can you stop shouting at me and handle this diplomatically? crazy woman..."
psychotic mom gone wilder: "WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME CRAZY WOMAN? I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU....YES, I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU"
me: (trying hard not to smirk) "you think you're so hardcore, saying that? who's the one being unreasonable here? i'm just asking you to increase my allowance so that i can save up for a mac."
result? nothing. the argument is being postponed to another day. we can't be shouting at 12 in the morning. not going to give our neighbours more excuses to hate us. i can't imagine why though, we're so nice....
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